I found that forgiveness is a topic that never enjoys as much thought and attention as it should. We as humans usually just give it a quick overview before disregarding it.

A long time ago, on a sunny day, somewhere in a little town north of a small, irrelevant river, Mary told Anne in front of everybody at the local braai, that Anne’s shoes are the most hideous shoes that were to ever walk on Earth. It must be something that she got from a very cheap store. Anne angrily scolded something back at Mary and fled the scene in her new Mercedes Benz Coupé. Now, so many years later, Mary and Anne are still not speaking to each other. Instead, Anne is still talking about Mary with anybody who raises the subject.

I once asked Mary what happened on that day. She frowned a bit, then after a few seconds of silence, she responded that she does not know anymore. She can’t remember. It must have been something bad, because Anne never talked to her again.

When I asked Anne the same question, the fire in her eyes lit up. That was the day when Mary embarrassed her in front of all the people who attended the social do. And she never even apologised for her bad behaviour.

You would probably say that if Mary wasn’t so nasty, then the incident would not have happened. That may be true. But sometimes in life bad things happen. People do and say nasty things. This cannot be undone. Sometimes it is not easy to forgive them. Sometimes it is better to part ways, because a certain person may not be good for you.

Here is the flip-side of the coin. You have to decide how you are going to handle that situation. How will you respond to that? How will you resolve this situation? Ask yourself: Your place, or mine? Will I go to your level of hurt, as you are most possibly acting out of a place of hurt? Or will I react in a way of dignity and compassion? Did you just bruise my ego or do I realise that this situation can perhaps be resolved in a better way on another day?

Too many times in life, people carry grudges, and the other party involved can’t even remember the whole story. The only person ending up with all the hurt and anger, is the one carrying the grudge.

Perhaps it is sometimes better to take a step back, breathe, and determine... your place, or mine? Do what is best for you. Protect your own peace, energy and wellbeing.

Sending you love & light.
Tiaan